The Voice Audition Part Deux

Today’s Attire: Today I’m wearing a cotton leopard print maxi dress with crochet detail on the straps and bodice (Mode Plus $31), orange leather sandals with gold stud detail (Macy’s $26). I’m wearing my signatature Elsa Peretti silver star pendant.

Outfit Justification: The heat wave in Los Angeles is relentless.  I bought this dress when I was looking for an audition outfit. It was inexpensive enough that I bought it when I bought the audition dress. It’s so warm I can’t bear to wear anything other than maxi dress or tank top and shorts. I’ve decided that the maxi dress was it. And although I don’t really recommend wearing this much animal print to the office, I can justify it because it’s warm. I look cute.  And frankly I can pull it off in this office because that’s how I roll.

The Voice Audition Part Deux:

I’m coming clean about my audition from yesterday.  I’ve been vague about it on purpose. Here it goes. I auditioned for The Voice again yesterday.  After I made such a big deal about the audition last time and didn’t make it past the first round, I kinda felt like an idiot, especially after all that build up to it.  And when I realized how bullshit the process was I vowed to never audition for anything like this again. That was the cliché famous last words: never say never. I really think The Voice auditions are rigged and I have no chance of ever making it on to this show based on what I saw last time. After I proclaimed it I’d never do this again, I feel like an asshole to actually auditioning again. But here’s what happened.

Two days after my surgery I got an email from one the ladies I was in line with during the last audition. She and her friend were going to do it again and wanted me to join in the audition process. I really liked these ladies. They had a great spirit and they love singing and performing music as much as I did.  If they weren’t cynical about the process and were willing to do it again, why should I be? They had auditioned once before that, and this would be their third time auditioning. I originally said no when they sent the email asking if I’d audition again. But then I thought about it some more and changed my mind. I talked to Jeff about it and he agreed that I needed the audition experience and I had a great time with the people that I was in line with. So I wrote Sheri back and said I’d do it. I registered to audition again.

Flash forward to these last few days. I was getting ready for this BS audition. I really wanted to give a good audition. One to prove to myself that my voice is improving, two because I need to do something in terms of auditioning because I need to get somewhere, and three I wanted to meet more people and maybe make some connections. I did not freak out about this audition like I did last time. I wanted to look good and sound good that’s all I cared about.  I wanted to project the rocker image without being too over the top. I found the lace dress that seemed to work. I got obsessed with finding the right shoes to go with it, which proved to be harder than I anticipated. I practiced despite fighting off a cold. I had a good productive vocal lesson the day before. I was ready.

Yesterday morning proved to be not so great. Jeff and I managed to get into a tiff that made me run behind on my schedule and throw off my warm up. My throat was hurting despite drinking tea and water. It was so hot in our apartment because of the stupid heat wave and the curling iron. My nerves were getting the best of me and frankly I was just pissed off at myself. Why did I give a damn about this audition knowing that it was a complete waste of time? I went on Facebook, posted a frustrated status update closed the laptop. I was so angry with myself for not being where I felt like I should be: in my career, in my life, and in general.  I eventually gathered myself together and had Jeff drive me to the audition. He snapped a picture of me and I headed to get in line.

This time around the process wasn’t as crazy or as long. Things were moving quickly. Thankfully we weren’t outside for very long.  I was a veteran of the process so I knew what to expect.  Sheri and Merry were a little late getting there, but they got there and it felt like old times.  We laughed and chatted until we got separated into separate groups, which totally sucked. But I got the opportunity to meet new people.  There were singers that were older than me and younger than me and even one person who had auditioned for American Idol and got past the first few rounds. One woman I met was an actress in New York and been and sung on Broadway.  It was nice and comfortable.  The process felt very leisurely.  Finally they got us into our group of 10 for the actual audition.  My new friend Linda (Miss Broadway) and Shawn, a young guy who had decided he was accompanying us all to Hooters after we were rejected to celebrate being awesome, were in my audition group. As I waited in the hallway, I was getting mentally prepared for our audition, doing last minute vocal exercises, consoling an under 18 year old with her nerves, and going over the words in my head.  By the time they opened the door, I was ready to take my place.

This time the producer was a woman in front of a laptop. The room was brighter than last time. There were more guys in our group as opposed to the last time where it was all girls with the exception of one guy.  We listened to the producer’s instructions and waited to be called.

The group had all kinds of things going on:

1.First guy to sing was an older gentleman who opted to sing Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye. He proceeds to hum the first few measures of instrumental and then proceeded sing a very tired version.

2. There was a young girl who I had consoled in the hallway who was a basket of nerves, messing with her hair and her dress, and was softspoken and out of tune.

3.There was a guy who was in a band who did Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons, who was OK until he started messing up the words and then went in and out of tune.

4. Another really young kid who had hair like Justin Bieber who did a soft version of In My Remains by Linkin Park who had the potential, his Linkin Park was so soft and tamed it was disappointing and kinda sad. I had high hopes for that kid.

5. There was a guy who had planned to sing the national anthem. The producer asked for another song instead of that. She said it wasn’t really a song. He hadn’t come prepared with anything else. She asked him what kind of music he liked and he said R&B.  She threw out some names of some R&B artists he said knows their stuff but doesn’t know the words. She let him sing the anthem, it was pretty, but he was so rattled by the judge, it fell apart. It was a complete mess.

6. There was a duo.  A guy and girl in their twenties. The producer asked if they had audition before, and they had a few times. They started singing a country song that I had heard before but didn’t really know.  When the two of them were together on the song they sounded good in parts. But there were multiple times when they weren’t together. Sometimes she was flat, or would lose her place other times they sounded like they were clashing notes. The producer asked them to sing another song. They struggled for a few minutes and did another song. Their performance was just as disjointed as the first song.  At one point she would look at him when they messed up. It was an odd performance, but my intuition kicked  in but I wasn’t sure what it was telling me until the end. 

7. Miss Broadway did a fabulous job of The Impossible Dream from Man of LaMancha. I could tell the producer wasn’t into it. But it was a good performance though.

8.My young friend Shawn did a song I didn’t really know by an artist I didn’t know. He was a big guy with a too soft sound. I was disappointed because I wanted to hear something big from him.

9. The last girl to sing announced that “again” at the last minute she decided to change her song. She didn’t have to announce this because no one knows what you’re singing until you actually get up to sing. She opted to sing a Seal song. When the producer asked her the title of it she said she didn’t know it.  It was very soft, not loud enough but recognizable Seal song. In her defense I didn’t remember the title of that song either.

I was the fourth one to be called. I opted to sing Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero from the Footloose soundtrack.  The song isn’t that current, but with them redoing Footloose last year it was current enough. I figure it wasn’t a song the producer hadn’t heard 50 million times. It’s a powerful song. It’s a rock song.  From the first note I was nailing it. I was authoritative. I was in tune. I used my dynamics by being soft when I needed to be and loud on the main part. It’s a big song. I’m a singer who can tackle the big songs. I was loud. In a word I was fantastic. I was on and in my element. Everyone in that room saw that I was seasoned singer and performer. It was a phenomenal performance. The rest of the singers applauded very loudly. I smiled and took my seat. I was satisfied. I did what I came to do. I waited for everyone else to perform and for the results.

So when it was all said and done, the producer asked the country duo to stay. She said to the rest of us that we should work on our vocals and maybe come back again next time. I wasn’t at all shocked that I wasn’t picked, but I was little thrown aback when the disjointed country duo was picked to go on to the next round. As they snipped our wristband off us, a bunch of people came up to me saying “Oh my God you were so good” “You were the best one in there” “I can’t believed they didn’t pick you, you were so awesome”.  I just smiled and thanked them.  Miss Broadway was especially pissed that they didn’t pick me and picked the out of tune duo. 

My final thoughts about this audition are as follows: I was fantastic. I proved to myself that I am a force to be reckoned with. I am making my comeback. I had fun hanging with new people in the audition line. As we walked to the restroom with Miss Broadway I agreed with her assessment of the process. I told her I wasn’t shocked that they didn’t pick me.  I didn’t expect to be picked. I did an awesome job and I know it.  I was annoyed about the duo. But that just means I’m not good TV.  They obviously weren’t looking for “The Voice”. Then she made the statement that really sums it up: “This isn’t the right avenue for you. Something bigger and better is out there for you.” She was right.  I don’t need a reality TV show to get me where I want to be. To quote my husband Jeff “You just never know what’s around the corner”.  He was right when it came to our relationship.  Maybe he’s right about my singing career.  Like I said in my Facebook status: my time will come.  When it does, I’ll be ready. 

Below is the audition picture and picture of today's outfit