Wedding Crashing

Today’s Attire:  

Today I’m wearing a blue floral print hi-low maxi sundress with spaghetti straps (White House Black Market, a gift from my parents in-law). I’ve accessorized with my silver infinite circle pendant (Tiffany & Co, gift from my husband), grey cotton flats with bow detail at the toe (Payless Shoes $14.50) and a blue and black flower in my hair (White House Black Market Outlet $6).

Outfit Justification:

I woke up feeling like I needed to wear a sundress. This particular dress is one that I’m really fond of. I love it mainly because of the color. It’s all different colors of blue and it compliments my hair and skin. It’s kinda too pretty to wear to work, but honestly I don’t care. I’m going to a wedding party this evening, and in case I don’t have time to change before heading there, I’m prepared in this dress. I feel very feminine in the dress, and I think I look cute.

My Love for Weddings:

I love weddings. I know women are supposed to love weddings, but I love them. I love being a part of them in one way or another. It’s a reason to dress up. You’re celebrating love and that is a great reason to celebrate if you ask me.  I’ve been fortunate enough to participate in weddings in all different capacities. I’ve been a guest, a bride, a wedding planner, wedding coordinator, wedding singer and an officiant.  You’ll notice the role of bridesmaid is missing from that list, because I’ve never been one.

First I was the bride. That was my very first experience dealing with a wedding. I was one of those girls who knew I would get married, but didn’t know about the logistics of a wedding until I had to plan my own. My wedding to my ex-husband was one those things that I list of greater accomplishments. And even though that marriage didn’t work out, I count that wedding as a big accomplishment.  I managed to plan a wedding with 100 guests in Los Angeles for $8,000. And everything was paid for by the day of the wedding. It was hard work that I did it all on my own.  I spent time on a wedding bulletin board where I made a bunch of friends sharing any cost saving, Martha Stewart worthy suggestions I could.  It was a great experience. All of that led me to my next role wedding planner and coordinator. When I married Jeff, planning that wedding was the highlight of my life, because everything was evidence of the two us. It was all so personal. I couldn’t have been happier on the day that I married the man of my dreams.

After planning my first wedding a friend asked me to help her start her wedding planning company, or at least help it get off the ground.  For a year, I was helping other women with logistics of making their special day phenomenal. I was very good at it. I loved offering advice, making sure everything ran smoothly. It made me happy to help out a bride, and have her focus on marrying the person of her dreams. Because I was working with a business partner, I was doing less planning and more coordinating. Being a wedding coordinator was fun to a point. But honestly I hated it. Although I knew what I was doing and was pretty darn good at it, I absolutely hated it. I loved helping my friends out, but it was more challenging coordinating for a stranger. The amount of work involved in that day running around making sure little details are on track, making sure vendors don’t screw up and keeping all that stuff from the bride and groom so they can enjoy their day was super stressful.  The payoff was to see a happy bride and groom. If I had done it for the pay, I would have quit after first wedding.

Being asked to sing at someone’s wedding is a tremendous honor. I’ve been asked a few times and I’m always delighted to do it. Singing at someone’s wedding is so rewarding. You get to be a part of the memory of the ceremony. I feel like I’m singing for a special purpose.  The purpose is something beyond my need to perform or express myself through song. I’m being asked to be a part of something much bigger than me. Someone thought enough of my voice to add it to their special memory of their day. I think that’s awesome.  I believe in my blog last week I mentioned that I sang at a wedding where most of the bridal party was in tears during my song. The fact that I could move someone to emotion like that, is truly powerful and I’m honored that I could do that. At my first wedding I asked a friend to sing Ave Maria during the unity candle ceremony, it was a way to honor my father, because it was his favorite song. Unfortunately the friend wasn’t able to do it, but someone who I met only once was able to step in and she performed it beautifully. As I write this, I smile at memory of the tears in my and my mother’s eyes when we heard the song both of us thinking of my dad.

When my best friend Becky (not the one who passed away recently) got married in 2008, she didn’t want a big production with her wedding she opted not to have bridesmaids and groomsmen. I have to admit I was a bit disappointed at first because I figured it was going to be the only opportunity to be a bridesmaid or matron of honor. But when I got the bigger honor of being asked if I would preside over the ceremony as the officiate, I was elated. I immediately got ordained on the Universal Life Church website and I became the Reverend Vivian and legally able to perform marriage ceremonies. I had never done this before, and didn’t know what I was doing, but I researched it to death. I spend a few weeks writing this ceremony. And when the day came I was ready. I have to admit I teared up when my friend walked down the aisle. Not very officiant like, but I’m her best friend of course I was going to cry a little. The ceremony was short and sweet. And Becky and her husband were happy with the job that I did. And their friends were shocked that I had never done this before and asked if I was ever going to do it again. I honestly didn’t think I would.  Well, last year I got the opportunity to do it for my friend Kym who got married on 11-11-11. Nothing went as planned with that ceremony due to a lot of crazy factors, including the fact that I ended up having to act as a coordinator for that wedding as well. And just when I thought, this would be the last time I preside over another wedding, my good friend’s Paula and Silver asked if I would do them the honor of presiding over their ceremony. And this Sunday I will do just that.  I get to help my friends marry their best friends. I couldn’t be happier about doing it.

In conclusion, I have to say I love being a guest at a wedding. It makes me happy on so many different levels. I get to watch my friends celebrate their love for their spouse. It renews my love for my own husband. And wedding can be so much fun.  Plus it gives me an opportunity to dress up. And I love to dress up. To my friends that are reading this who are married, thank you for including me in your special day it’s an honor to participate.  To those friends who have yet to marry, I say that I’m looking forward to the celebration of your love in anyway. And just shout if you need my help.